Quest for SoulMate
by Esmerada007
Summary: Wesley is in a better place but he is not happy without his one true love beside him. Fred/Illyria is lost without him and does somehing to get him back.


**Title; **Quest for Soul mate

**Author; **DreamInfinity0

**Author Note;** Continues…. Angel after the fall. Continues after Season 5 of Angel My own story actually. Has a small spoiler about Illyria from the comics. Lyrics by Sarah McMahan. Credit if you take picture

**Rating**; PG sad but happy ending  
**Chapter: :**1 2 **3** (Other chapters are about angel/Buffy)

**Characters**; Wesley/ Fred/illyria POV,

**Disclaimer; **All characters belong to Joss Whedon

**Summary; **Fred/Illyria brings back Wesley,

Heaven bent to take my hand

And lead me through the fire

Be the long awaited answer

To a long and painful fight

It was odd standing here alone, in this world without her and beside me. I was truly in love with her and just starting to find that one true love and it was taken away from me. But it was my choice to fight for the greater good and now it cost me my life.

Truth be told I've tried my best, but somewhere along the way I got caught up in all there was to offer

And the cost was so much more than I could bear. I tried getting over her death but I couldn't and somehow I think I'm the one to blame for getting her caught up in all this mess. Maybe she wouldn't have died in my arms or would of turned into some demon if it wasn't for me.

I could still remember Fred holding me. Her caressing my face and telling me she loved me. I could of sworn at that moment it was actually her at that last moment. She cried for me, something I've never seen Illyria do and I wandered if her soul was still there. Maybe it was my imagination.

My last words were I loved you and I really didn't care if she was lying to me. I just wanted to hear her voice and to see that sweet face of hers again, and I did with the last breath I took and now I'm here.

Furthermore the worst thing about it was I hated it. I hate staying here and not being able to see or touch her.

I should be thankful really for being here. I thought after signing the contract with Wolfram & Heart that I would be in hell, but I wasn't. I was in a place of glory for the greater things I did and I couldn't handle it. It consumed me to a point that I couldn't handle being in place called Heaven. Because Every time I thought of her I could see her in my memory like I just had seen her yesterday. It was so clear, like I could remember everything that ever happened in my life. It was breaking me down piece by piece.

I still remember how it all started. It all started by becoming a demon hunter, then meeting Angel. Fighting the good the fight. Fighting for a cause, a better place. How I met Fred. She was smart, beautiful and at the time I didn't have the courage to tell her how I truly felt and now I wish I did. Then things were set into motion. Things begin with good intent then turn to lose that you didn't think you could bear anymore.

Then there was her death which destroyed me and now my.

I was young, raw. I believed that we could change ourselves. That the past could be undone but it wasn't that simple. I carry the burden for what I did and achieve all those years and I still feel like I failed miserably. Angel was the champion, I wasn't. I failed her and now I'm left with the burden without her. The burden of never seeing, or touching that beautiful face of hers again and that it's broken my soul just a little more as each day passes.

I realize that I was crying again, all the pain that I have held so dear. The wounds that would not heal, and the bitter taste of losing everything was breaking me.

Then soon this made me realize that I didn't want to or could not stay here any longer. I wanted to be back with her even if it wasn't Fred, back on earth, I didn't care anymore, and before I could break down anymore I suddenly felt a harsh pain shot threw my body like my soul was reaching out. I stared into the distance hearing a voice, a familiar voice suddenly.

I stared forward into the eyes of a woman. I could not make out her face but I knew it had to be here by the shape of her blue eyes.

I knew it was probably Illyria and I took her hand with out hesitation. I didn't care if I left from here. Before I realized it I was fallen out of that world back down and felt that familiar pain of me landing on the hard cold ground and staring up into her eyes and then everything went black.

…………………………………………………………………

Nowhere left to turn

I'm lost without you

Living in Los Angeles was becoming an irritation for her. She hated it.

She hated this whole world and the things in it, especially with this shell she's in. She had taken Fred's body consumed her body and mind but not her soul. She thought it was gone, but ever since Wesley died it was different.

It started a month ago with the battle with the Circle of the Black Thorn, which had caused the Senior Partners to strike back as they sent Los Angeles in to hell. The city was almost destroyed by the demons that came forth that night but she made sure she sent a few hundred back down where they came. She fought harder and fierce then any other time because of what she lost and she knew sooner or later she would break down and seek out vengeance against them all.

Her head hurt and was deprived of images of her, images of her life as Fred. For once in her life she wandered how she got to this point because she wasn't supposed to be like this.

She was Illyria, the God-king of Primordium Shaper of things. She was one of the original, ancient demons that had walked the Earth long before mankind. Once, man and vampire and even the wolf, the ram and the hart had been little more than the muck at her feet. She had warred and conquered, she had ruled supreme, unchallenged save by those worthy to face her and wrest from her what was rightfully hers and now the creatures that were the mock of her feet were now the ones that were in control.

She couldn't understand how her world fell apart but she was sure that she would make them pay and beg at her feet before she slaughtered them. Then someway and somehow she would bring him back.

Wesley had helped her adjust to the world she was forced to live in, because she looked like his dead love, Fred. She had come to respect him, to care for him, and now she grieved his death. She wondered sometimes if the grief would ever end.

She hated every moment of this existence, had hated it since she'd held Wesley in her arms as he died.

She had lied to him, changed her appearance to look like Fred, and told him he would be with Fred soon. But she was lying and they'd both known it. Fred's soul was gone, consumed in the fires of her resurrection, only sparks of memories left within or so that is what she thought.

Although Illyria knew now things were very different. She had Fred's feeling and thoughts in her, she wanted to get rid of it but she couldn't. It felt like it was apart of her now. But it really didn't matter; she just needed to gain control and the only other one to help her was Wesley.

Now all she had to do was to find some way to bring Wesley back and everything would be fine.

……………………………………………………………….

A few minutes later Illyria came back to the same spot. She didn't even remember moving or leaving. All she had with her a magic crystal. Before realizing what she did she threw the crystal on the ground and smashed it to pieces, creating a blinded light that threw her a couple feet in the air. She fell as she quickly got on her feet wandering what she was staring at.

It was bright and white. It looks like a vortex or a dimension of some sort. It filled her as she instantly without hesitation moved forward into the field.

As soon as she stepped forward she felt the slightness of pain shoot threw her entire body like there was something wrong.

She could feel the atmosphere was different here, like she didn't belong. It was a place of joy and happiness, something the demon in her could not have. She moved forward anyways and she seen a man sitting there alone. She could barely see who it was because of the blinding light but she reached out her hand knowing deep down in her heart that it was.

"Take my hand"

Without hesitation she felt a hand grasp hers. She smiled as a filled of joy ness swept threw her but knowing deep down it was wrong to do this, to take him out of this blessed place, but she needed him. She didn't care and with out hesitation she pulled him forward as they both fell on the ground.

…………………

Illyria quickly changed to Fred and his eyes brighten as a smile appeared on his face. He took his first breath back into the real world not realizing that he was nude. She quickly held him in her lap staring at his face.

"Fred is it really you?"

Fred Smiled again as she quickly got a blanket that she didn't realize she had and covered him.

": Don't worry Wesley, Your safe and I will never leave you again." she replied.

Before he could answer he fell unconscious in her arms and she smiled as a tear came down her cheek. It was the first time Illyria felt such strong emotion for another and now knowing what love is. She knew this could be her and Fred second chance for a happy life. Furthermore that she will do anything in her power to keep him with her. Even if that met sharing a soul with Illyria, so be it. It would make her stronger in the process, since her soul is one with the demon now.

……………………………………

Please tell me what you think?

An Angel and Buffy chapter is next. Maybe a little of Spike too.


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